A 12-Step Guide to Recovering from Divorce

 Posted on June 24, 2022 in Divorce

b2ap3_thumbnail_lombard-il-divorce-attorney.jpgMany studies have been done that reveal that many couples stay in unhappy marriages instead of leaving. There are a number of reasons why they stay. Some stay because they think it is better for their children. Others stay because they still hope they will be able to work things out with their spouse.

Regardless of the reason why someone stays in an unhappy marriage, once they do decide to leave, the majority of people do not regret their decision after time and distance has given them a chance to heal.

The Healing Process

Ending your marriage and going through the divorce process is often a significant emotional time, even if the divorce is your choice. There are a gamut of feelings you may experience – anger, sadness, and grief. The following are a list of steps that will help you “recover” from divorce, just like other 12 step programs for recovery.

  1. The first step of recovering from a divorce is to realize and admit that it is not within your power to save your marriage. It truly is over.

  2. Leave the marriage. The only way for a person to regain control over their own life and future is to finally make that break.

  3. Find a skilled divorce attorney to represent you and begin the legal process. This step reaffirms that you have done your best to work things out but could not salvage the marriage.

  4. Create an inventory of what you want to walk away from the marriage with. This list should include child custody, property, assets, household items, etc. Everything you and your spouse have acquired during the marriage.

  5. It is important to own your responsibility to the breakup of the marriage. Share it with your spouse. If you are seeing a therapist (which can be very helpful in the healing process), make sure to share it with them. Most importantly, make sure you admit it to yourself.

  6. Prepare yourself for single parenting.

  7. Although single parenting is hard, it is important to remind yourself that it is better for children to see their parents apart but happy instead of together but miserable.

  8. Explain to the children what is happening. Ideally, this should be done by both parents together. Stress to the children how much both parents love them and none of this is their fault.

  9. Parents should try not to “overcompensate” to children because their parents are no longer living together.

  10. No matter how exhausting it may seem to be responsible for now doing it all on your own, remember that you are on your way to a new life and how much happier you are going to be.

  11. Make sure to find a good therapist you can work with. Learn to recognize where you made mistakes in the marriage so you do not repeat them.

  12. Help others who are going through a divorce and share what you’ve learned and support them with their “recovery.”

Contact a Naperville, IL Divorce Lawyer

Step three is finding a skilled divorce attorney. Look no further than J. Aldrich Law, P.C.. Our firm has been advocating for Illinois families for almost two decades and will make sure that your best interests and parental rights are protected during the divorce process. Call 630-953-3000 to schedule a free consultation with one of our dedicated DuPage County divorce attorneys.



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